Courting is not the same as dating. The purpose, value, or meaning of courting is often misunderstood in today’s society. Courting is step two on the road to marriage (with step one being dating).
23 Things You Need To Know About Dating
Contemporary courtship is when couples decide to move into a deeper friendship and relationship, with marriage being the end goal. When courting is present, two people have agreed together as one to intentionally and deliberately say, “we are courting to get married.”
They have moved past simply getting to know each other without sex, physical touch, or expectation and to a place of deeper purpose and exploration.
24 Things You Need to Know About Courtship
You can enter dating with the goal of marriage, but marriage should not be your initial focus; getting to know people should be your focus. Dating and courting in healthy ways will eliminate 85% of our pain, drama, or problems in dealing with men or women. The goal of dating is to discover and share information before entering into a committed, devoted, and long-term relationship. What people typically do is hang out, have sex, start a relationship and then try to get to know someone. When courtship is the goal, your main intent is to get married.
Here are 27 things you need to know about courtship:
- Courtship is not about playing, doubt, or uncertainty. In this stage, you are about getting married. Only enter courtship when you are ready to marry.
- A courtship doesn’t have to develop into marriage because a couple can decide they are not for each other and simply remain friends, which is perfectly OK.
- In courtship, you are both praying together and seeking God to lead the relationship in the right direction.
- Courtship will not happen many times in your life, assuming you are approaching relationships from a healthy perspective. Remember, courtship is where you are exploring a deeper relationship with marriage being the goal. So, you will not be doing this often if you are approaching the dating stage with healthy boundaries.
- Dating is a temporary place and should be a safe place for getting to know someone. Courting is for a loving and secure relationship.
- Courtship is not for the spiritually and emotionally immature.
- Sex is not for courtship. Sex should be a gift of marriage.
- Courtship is for positive intentions.
- Courtship is done with the goal of having a future spouse.
- You should not enter into a courtship until you can be happy alone and not attempting to heal emotional wounds through a relationship.
- Courtship is a selfless relationship. If you are a selfish person, you should not even have a serious relationship until you are mature enough to share life with someone without seeking to gain something for yourself.
- Selfishness should not drive a marriage, nor should it be the driver of your courtship. (Philippians 2:3)
- For the men who are reading this, your focus should be on becoming an Ephesians 5 man. (Ephesians 5:25)
- You should treat the man or woman you are in a courtship with as your brother or sister. (1 Timothy 5:1-2)
- If you can’t see yourself marrying the person you are dating, delay the courtship. Only enter into courtship with someone you would consider marrying.
- Courtship is when you should meet and spend time with each other’s family.
- Courtship requires the couple to be honest and transparent so both can make a choice about life together.
- A successful courtship requires love, prayer, patience, and oneness.
- You should avoid hiding your feelings during courtship.
- The habits you form during your courtship will bleed over into your marriage.
- A healthy courtship should bring the best out of you.
- A healthy courtship has strong communication.
- Courtship is where you can become best friends. We all know the best relationships or marriages happen when couples are best friends.
- Pray for discernment concerning your courtship and the potential for marriage.
- When in courtship take time to discern God’s will. No rushing…..
- Courtship will help a couple determine if they should get married.
- Only enter courtship with someone you would consider marrying.
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